 | | Gossip Girl News - March 2012 | RIP Cec
| POSTED BY: GOSSIP GIRL ADMIN | ADD A COMMENT | MARCH 3, 2012 |
Funerals are the worst. I mean what do you expect, right? But in a surprise, grandma CeCe decided to turn her wake into, get this, a party! It was a total Irish wake complete with Guinness on draft and a buffet. Naturally, Lily was shocked. How un-CeCe like! But weirdly enough, CeCe had left detailed instructions on how to celebrate her life. While the funeral arrangements were exactly what CeCe wanted, I’m sure what she wouldn’t have wanted were her two daughters fighting. But too bad because Lily and Carol were at each other’s throats. Carol had hired an actress to play her daughter? Crazy! Lily had had it with her sister. Lock up the china!
But Lily wasn’t the only one majorly pissed at Carol. Lola didn’t want to have anything to do with her mother. Or the van der Woodsens. Lola might not have known about her family but they all knew about her and never tried to contact her. Though it seemed like Serena was trying to change that by reaching out to her cousin and asking her to come to the wake. Lola was adamant. She didn’t like the van der Woodsens or the Upper East Side. However, Lola had been spending a lot of time with Nate. How could she dislike the UES and like Nate? Perhaps not everyone on the UES was bad. So Lola decided to make a cameo at the wake. Of course, once she got there she immediately fought with her mom. Carol told her that she couldn’t trust these people. But the truth was Lola’s mom was the only person who had actually lied to her. Ouch!
As for me, I, Georgina, was majorly bugging. Being Gossip Girl was like sooooooo much work. I felt like I was being suffocated. And I began feeling like a recluse. It was time for a mental health day. And what better way to spend the day off than attending a wake? Makes you appreciate being alive, I suppose. Anyway, I was gonna go to the wake with my new friend Ivy. Yep, Ivy Dickens. She had called me. I knew that she would. With the two of us heading over to the van der Woodsens to mourn CeCe, I left my husband in charge of running GG for the day. Don’t ef it up, Philip!
Meanwhile, Blair had received some good news. Cyrus had found a loophole in her pre-nup: Blair and Louis had signed the contract in Monaco but had gotten married in New York. Louis would have to grant her an amicable annulment and waive the dowry. What did this all mean? Well first off, that Blair would be unmarried to Louis. Second off, she’d be able to date Dan. Ugh!
Although someone was set out to make sure Blair and Dan never became a thing: Chuck, of course. He knew that Humphrey was the one who had actually sent in the bridal suite video of him and Blair. So when Serena told him about the pre-nup loophole, Chuck did what he had to do: he emailed me to say that I should tell everyone about how Dan sent in the video. Pretty harmless, right? Well, my sweet and dumb husband made a huge snafu. Philip accidentally uploaded Chuck’s entire email to the GG homepage. Yikes x a million. Now everyone knew that not only Chuck emails Gossip Girl but also that Dan was the one who sent in the video. I don’t know which is worse!
Luckily for me, everyone was at the wake so all the shiz was able to go down right in front of my eyes. Yesss. Blair could not believe Chuck had sent GG such a blatant lie. How dare he! But Chuck told her it was no lie. She should just ask her new secret boy toy Dan. So Blair asked. And Dan, well, he admitted to it doing the dirty deed. But he had a good reason! For months, Dan stood by Blair’s side knowing how unhappy she was to be marrying the prince. He did it for her well-being. Aw? Dan only wanted to stop the wedding. He never thought Blair would actually leave with him. Blair decided to forgive him. For now.
Bad news: Estee, Blair’s social secretary, told her that Cyrus’ plan for the annulment would never work. Good news: Estee had a plan of her own. Blair didn’t want Louis but Estee did. Ooh, told you she was a creeper. You see, Estee and Louis grew up together but her family was in no social standing for her to ever be seen as an acceptable bride. But now with the whole Blair fiasco, Estee was looking pretty good. Estee’s plan was for Louis to break the news of the dissolving of the marriage in a press conference. Then the royal family’s publicist would build Estee up. All while Blair was under a gag order. That meant no talking to the media. If B followed these instructions, Estee would get her and Louis would get an annulment. Win win! Too bad for them, I overheard the whole convo. Can you say lose lose?
I told Chuck about what I eavesdropped on. A news scandal could derail Blair’s divorce. Perhaps Chuck would want that? And I knew exactly how to make that happen. I had the pic of Blair and Dan kissing from the Come As You Were party. And I had Dan’s phone. What can I say? I’m a good pickpocketer. So what’d I do? I put the picture up on Gossip Girl. With a tagline that said it was sent from Dan. Of course, the Grimaldis called up Cyrus and told him they’d be needing that dowry after all. That’s gonna be a big check to write.
Dan was beyond mad when I gave him his phone back. He reminded me that I had promised to protect him if he kept shut about me being Gossip Girl. But you know what? Who cares? It felt like I had taken down the whole UES. Dan told my big secret to Blair so I had to come clean about my Gossip Girl-ness. The truth was I had hacked into this site months ago. I’m not the actual creator of GG, just a short-term replacement. Blair thought she could still salvage the deal with Estee. But too bad for her, that plan was all made up. And I had helped. Now Estee was going back to Monaco to console a sad prince. Looked like Blair was no longer a princess but now definitely a pauper. When Chuck found out that because of his actions the Waldorfs would be bankrupt, he felt pretty bad. But it wasn’t really his fault. It was Lonely Boy’s! Blair didn’t agree. And while she loved Chuck, she wasn’t in love with him right now. Poor Chuck!
And to think, sooooo much more was going on at the wake than just that drama! Guess who showed up? Why, William van der Woodsen. He was the executor of CeCe’s estate and had her will. The feuding family gathered together for Serena’s dad to read what CeCe had left to everyone. And are you sitting down for this? CeCe left all of her artwork, stocks and bonds, holdings, etc, including the van der Woodsen apartment, to Ivy Dickens. Yep, the Ivy Dickens who’s most definitely NOT her granddaughter. Um, whoa! Of course, everyone was shocked. WTF? But no one was more shocked than Ivy. She never asked for this. She had just been nice to CeCe. Lily was certain Ivy had taken advantage of a sick woman. But Ivy assured her that CeCe knew the truth about her. CeCe knew all of Ivy’s secrets. Guess grandma Rhodes just really liked her. Weird!
Carol was livid. Talk about a plan backfiring! She needed William to make this right or she’d be forced to do drastic things. Like go after Lola’s dad for child support. Wonder who that could be! Then Carol admitted Lola’s father was none other than, are you ready for this?, William van derWoodsen! He was aghast. Whaaaaat? Again, I was at the right place at the right time and I overheard the convo. Thank you, gossip gods.
William was clearly taken by this news. And in a surprising move, he called Lola. They had briefly met at the wake but William said he’d love to talk to her more. Interesting. She’s my niece! She’s my daughter!
I went to see Blair and told her I didn’t mean to hurt her. She was just collateral damage. Sorry, girl. But I had a way for her family not to pay the Grimaldis. I was swimming in dirt from being GG for these past few months. I could help Blair. But only if she helped me when the time was right. Blair wanted to get out of her marriage so badly that she shook my hand. Deal with the devil? Kind of. But hey, life’s not perfect.
Chuck was still upset about losing Blair. He went to Lily for some step-motherly love. Chuck was feeling bad about life. Sometimes it felt like he had died in that car accident. Lily told him he had Jack to thank for saving him. Wait, what? Turned out, when Chuck was in surgery there was a complication. They needed a family member to donate blood. So Lily gave the doctors Jack’s number. Um, gracias Uncle Jack?
Poor Lily and Rufus. Since their apartment was now owned by Ivy, she was kicking them to the streets. Or rather, to Brooklyn. But let’s be honest. The streets might be better than DUMBO. Ew.
And as it so happened, Blair went to see Dan. He was expecting the worst. Was she coming over to ream him out for sending in the video? To tell him she was going back to Chuck? But then Blair told Dan that Chuck didn’t have her heart anymore. It belonged to someone else. And that someone else was, omg, Dan Humphrey. With that, they kissed. And it was sweet. Very sweet, actually. Blair even called Dan by his name. No Humphrey, no Lonely Boy. Just Dan. I’m very intrigued by this budding relationship.
Sadly, my time as GG was coming to an end. I had to go to Monaco and besides, I was ready to pass my baton. I gave Philip a box to deliver. To none other than Serena. Maybe she could do something with it? I feel like with no job and no boyfriend perhaps she could take up a hobby.
It’s been a pleasure serving you all. I hope I brightened all your lives with gossip. Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened. And know that it’s not the end just yet. I’m sure you’ll have a new Gossip Girl very soon. You can count on it. Xoxo Gossip Girl | |
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