Ah, how great is it when episodes open with a Blair Waldorf original movie dream sequence?! Even if this one was not an Audrey Hepburn movie, much to Blair’s dismay. She must be pretty worried about something to dream that she is Bette Davis in ‘All About Eve.’ And she didn’t tell Chuck this, but “Eve” from her dream? None other than Miss Vanessa Abrahms.Abrams.
Elsewhere, Serena visits Nate who is currently working on his cousin Tripp’s campaign for congressman, btw. Nate tells Serena that the Buckleys have Carter, and they plan to fly him down to Galveston, Texas to work off his debt on an oil rig (which would take like 20 years). But Nate thinks its more to just get him in a secluded spot with a bunch of tough guys from Texas that want to do him harm. But never fear, Nate has a plan. Bree’s cousin PJ hosts a poker night and somehow one night Bree told Nate all of her cousin’s tells, so they can know when to call his bluff. (Not sure I buy that, but let’s just go with it). PJ hates Nate, but he doesn’t hate Serena…
Over in Brooklyn, Rufus and the gang are packing up their stuff at the loft to move it to Lily’s. Jenny and Dan tell Rufus that Vanessa has a chance at being chosen to give the Toast at the Freshmen Dinner at Parent’s Weekend, which is apparently quite the honor. It’s between V and one other person. Rufus suggests that Vanessa invite her parents, even though they are not huge fans of her attending a private college. Rufus and the crew convince Dan to invite Olivia to the Freshmen dinner.
Well, Vanessa gets a call implying that she will be the one to give the toast, and she is pumped! So excited, in fact, she ends up inviting her parents. However, Blair has decided that she is going to find a way to give the toast. Unbeknownst to either of them, famous-actress-turned-Dan’s-girlfriend Olivia was originally chosen to give the speech, and just recently accepted.
Blair goes to talk to the Alum who decides who will give the toast, and though she gives a compelling argument against Vanessa, it’s all in vain. She learns that Olivia was the original choice to give the speech but had turned it down until her boyfriend convinced her to come, and she accepted. Blair sees Vanessa outside of his office and fills her in on the situation. Vanessa decides she will tell Olivia how much it means to her, and she will probably step down. When Blair criticizes that plan, V decides she will get Dan to un-invite her.
Vanessa tries convincing Dan the old fashioned way but when honesty fails she channels Blair and starts lying. She tells Dan that Olivia is freaking out about meeting his family because it’s waaaaay too soon. So Dan decides they can do something more intimate together, and thanks his good friend Vanessa for the heads up.
Over at the sketchy poker game, Serena is losing tons of money, but Nate is confident that she will come out ahead. So, they raise the stakes. They bet Carter’s debt, and Nate/Serena bet a picture of his cousin Tripp from his bachelor party taking a bong rip. The Buckleys are doing all they can to prevent Tripp’s election, and with this gem, it won’t be hard at all. And though Serena puts up a good fight, the good guys lose, and Carter is still being sent to Texas, and Tripp’s campaign is pretty much over. Shock of all shocks, the “tells” Bree supposedly told Nate about didn’t pan out.
Vanessa’s plan works and Olivia cancels the toast to hang out with Dan. But actually, it might be Blair’s plan that is working after all, since one of the steps in her plan was to convince Vanessa to get Olivia out of the picture. Hmmmm.
So Serena and Nate regroup, and Nate tells Serena that he is going to confess everything to his grandfather. Serena feels pretty guilty about what happened, but Nate says he is not going to bring her into it. Serena then accidentally overhears Nate telling his grandpa that he gave PJ the fake photo (the real one is just of Tripp with a drink) and that he feels bad lying to Serena about it.
Vanessa’s mom really is as extreme as Vanessa said. She doesn’t like that Vanessa goes to a private University, she doesn’t like the Upper East Side, and she definitely doesn’t like that Vanessa’s roommate is a celebrity. While at Lily’s, V gets a call from Olivia, wondering why Dan changed his mind about her meeting his parents. She figures she must have done something wrong. When she says she might just ask him about it, Vanessa starts making stuff up again about his parents are super judgmental and they think she is just some ditsy celebrity. Olivia gets super offended and angry at Dan.
Phase 2 of Blair’s plan involves reinstituting her and Chuck’s game from the summer….with a little twist. Blair wants Chuck to seduce the guy who chose the candidate for giving the toast. Blair tells Chuck that she needs this because he double-crossed her, and Chuck goes along with it. Blair interrupts the scene right after the big kiss, and pretends to make a big scene. Though really she made a deal with him, she gets to make the toast, and he gets to kiss Chuck Bass (#27 on the Tribeca Scavenger Hunt, kiss Chuck Bass!) Blair says she will let Vanessa know about the change, and then doesn’t.
Olivia gets Dan to agree to take her to the Parents Dinner after all.
At the Parents Dinner, Blair lets Vanessa in on the change in speaker and Vanessa practically begs Blair not to do this. Blair pretty much laughs in her face.
When Dan introduces Olivia to his parents, she turns her celebrity personality on overdrive and is very clearly trying to be obnoxious.
Chuck’s plans get cancelled so he shows up at the dinner and gets a little too much info from one of B’s new minions. Then he sees Blair and the dude he kissed talking and laughing and he realizes something is definitely up.
Not at the Parent’s Dinner, Serena confronts Nate about the fake photo. Nate explains that the Buckleys will release the photo, and then the Archibalds will release the real one and it will make the Buckleys look bad, once and for all. And he admits that he was pretty much just using Carter…and Serena. Serena is upset and tells him he will regret lying to her….
Back at the Dinner, Dan and Olivia figure out that Vanessa lied to and manipulated both of them.
Then, Vanessa decides to take charge of the situation and pull a Blair move on the queen B herself. She steals a microphone and asks Blair to tell her why she thinks she is better than her. And Blair goes off….bad. She talks about breeding and wealth, etc. etc. and she even mentions that she had to trick Chuck into getting it, all the while not realizing that she is on the loudspeaker, being played for everyone.
Vanessa apologizes to Dan and Olivia, and Olivia mentions that her speech was going to be about how nice it was to be there with Dan and his family and that’s why she was so offended when he uninvited her. Vanessa says that she lied and substituted her own awful family’s feeling about celebrities for Dan’s amazing family. And just as her mom walks in she says she wishes they were her family. Yikes.
Blair realizes she totally screwed up because Chuck would have done anything for her, and there was no reason to trick him.
Serena and Carter meet and she tells him she settled his debt and that he doesn’t have to leave for Texas. Apparently she told PJ the photo was fake, saving him and his family public humiliation. So rather than being relieved and grateful, Carter is mad at what Serena did because he wanted to repay his own debt. He doesn’t want her to feel sorry for him. So he leaves anyway.
Vanessa catches up with her mom and apologizes about what she said. And her mom says some ominous lines about how she should really consider who this place is turning her into.
So Olivia goes to apologize for her behavior to Lily and Rufus, when she gets called up on stage to give the speech and carried away by a group of tweenage fans. Blair and Vanessa just look at each other and ask why they did this whole thing in the first place.
Olivia goes over to meet Dan’s parents again and all is made right.
Blair goes over to Chuck’s to apologize and it is clear he needs some more time to think about it.
Vanessa tries to hang breakfast with her mom but she pretty much blows her off.
And then in the strangest ending in GG history, Blair runs into Vanessa at the coffee shop, and sits down at the table with her. And they almost look like they might be making a truce, for now anyway.
Xoxo.
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