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| Version | User | Scope of changes |
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| May 21 2009, 12:32 AM EDT (current) | katia2525 | 427 words added, 1 word deleted |
| May 20 2009, 10:57 PM EDT | katia2525 | 101 words added |
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◄ Back to home: Gossip Girl Show
GOSSIP GIRL QUOTES | Blair Waldorf
| See Also: | Gossip Girl Characters | Blair Waldorf | Blair Waldorf Pictures | Leighton Meester | Gossip Girl Quotes |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Chuck: Nathaniel, any interest in some fresh air? (Chuck signals Nate that he wants to smoke a joint with him) Nate: When I get back? Blair: If he gets back! (Blair leads Nate into her bedroom and pushes him onto the bed) Nate: What's going on? Blair: I wanna do this... It... Now. Nate: Now now? You wanted to wait... Blair: Not anymore. | Episode: Pilot |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Serena: So, when's the party? Blair: Saturday... and you're kinda not invited. Since, until 12 hours ago, we all thought you were at boarding school. And Jenny used up all the invites. Jenny: Actually... Blair: You can go now. | Episode: Pilot |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: You missed some classic Eleanor Waldorf meltdowns. If it wasn't such a tragedy, it would've been funny. (smiles) Actually it kind of was. (both start laughing) Serena: I wish I could have been there. Blair: You are now. | Episode: Pilot |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: (About Serena) She better not show her face again. Chuck: I'm actually hoping she will. | Episode: Pilot |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Serena: So, how's your mom doing, with the divorce and everything? Blair: Great. So my dad left her for another man, she lost 15 pounds, got an eye-lift, it's been good for her. Serena: Eh, I'm really sorry. Blair: Ya, I could tell, since you didn't call or write the entire time it was happening. | Episode: Pilot |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Nate: You happy now? Blair: Not even close. | Episode: The Wild Brunch |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: Oh hi Jenny, what do you want? Jenny: Uh, I realized that I still have your calligraphy pen, from the party invitations, and I thought you might need them for something. Blair: That is the lamest excuse I've ever heard. You want to know what Chuck Bass is saying about you. Jenny: No! (pause) Is he? Saying things to anyone? Blair: No. Not yet, anyway. Chuck likes to brag about his conquests not his victims. | Episode: The Wild Brunch |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: (to Serena) I must have totally blanked on the part where I invited you over. | Episode: The Wild Brunch |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: I wonder if Nate remembered brunch. It would be so wrong to show up without my boyfriend, who I love. And who loves me | Episode: The Wild Brunch |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | (Blair and Nate walk into Chuck's room and find Serena there) Blair: What is she doing here? Serena: I was waiting for Nate. Nate: Just to talk, I swear. Blair: You said you'd never speak to her again. Serena: (to Nate) You said that? Why would you say that? Blair: Because you can't be trusted. Nate: It's not Serena's fault. Blair: Do not defend her. Nate: I asked her to come. Blair: Oh! Oh, so you do want to talk to her? Nate: Yes, to explain why I'm not talking to her. Blair: Maybe I'll leave you two to finish that fascinating conversation. Serena: Oh! No, no, I'll go! Let you guys get back to your quickie. Blair: It wasn't a quickie. Sex is actually kind of a big deal to some of us. Serena: Oh yeah, I can see that, Chuck's bed? Very romantic, classy too. Blair: Oh, like you? I'll bet your new friend Dan would love to hear all about how classy you are. | Episode: The Wild Brunch |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: So, does that mean you're friends with Serena now? Jenny: I mean I don't have a problem with her, but if someone did have a problem with her I wouldn't have a problem with that either. Blair: You know, if you like that dress, you can have it. Jenny: What?! No! No. Blair: I'm sure you'll find some way to repay me. | Episode: The Wild Brunch |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: You know, I always knew you were a whore, never took you for a liar too. Serena: Blair, how can I fix this? Blair: You don't, Serena. You just stay away, from me, my boyfriend and my friends. You're done here. | Episode: The Wild Brunch |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: I must have totally blanked on the part where I invited you over. Serena: Eh... I called you. Blair, it's Sunday morning, coffee, croissants, Breakfast at Tiffany's, it's our tradition. Blair: I have new traditions now. Serena: Well they're not traditions if they're new. (long pause) Look, Blair, I am really trying to make an effort here. I thought everything was good between us. Blair: It was, before I found out you had sex with my boyfriend. | Episode: The Wild Brunch |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: Dan. Hi, I'm Blair Waldorf. Serena's friend. Dan: Uh, yeah. Do you happen to know where she is? Blair: As a matter of fact I do. (Serena and Nate show up) Serena: Blair. Dan: Serena. There you are. Where were you? Blair: She was waiting in a hotel room. For my boyfriend. Serena: To talk. Nate: That's all. To talk. Blair: That doesn't sound any smarter the second time. Dan: Why did you want to talk to him? (to Nate) This is about why you were waiting for Serena this morning? Blair: (to Nate) You were what? Chuck: I thought you were waiting for me! Dan: Exactly what the situation needs. Chuck. Now what is going on here? Blair: We were just getting into that. Serena: Blair, please. Don't do this. Blair: Sorry. Would you want to tell him? Chuck: I'll tell him. Nate and Blair: You know? Chuck: I know all. Dan: And apparently I know nothing. Serena: Dan, it was a long time ago, and I regret it. Chuck: Please, Serena. Stop trying to pretend you're a good girl. So you've slept with your best friend's boyfriend. I kind of admire you for it. Dan: Is that true? Blair: Well, then she ran away and lied about it. I just thought you should know. Before you fall head-over-heels for your perfect girl and her perfect world, and you were left all alone with no one but your cabbage patch kid. Nate: Cabbage patch? Dan: Did you talk to my sister? Chuck: Yeah, little Jenny. Do you believe, she and I have some unfinished business. | Episode: The Wild Brunch |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair (to Serena when she is late to school): Aww, too bad you missed the assembly. Not that it matters. Brown doesn't offer degrees in slut. | Episode: Poison Ivy |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: What is she doing there? Chuck: Well what's anyone doing there. It's a facility for the disturbed or addicted. Blair: You must have your own wing. Chuck: You don't get nearly enough credit for your wit. [pause] Chuck: So the question is, what do you do now? Blair: I was thinking total social destruction. Chuck: And here I thought you were getting soft. [pause] Chuck: So this is your bed huh? Blair: Leaving now. Chuck: You can repay me another time. | Episode: Poison Ivy |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: Serena sent you here to talk to me? Dan: No believe it or not I actually came here myself. Blair: Normally I wouldn't be this close to you without a tetanus shot. | Episode: Poison Ivy |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair (after Serena tells her she'll try to stop by the sleepover after her date with Dan) : I'm not a stop along the way; I'm a destination! | Episode: Dare Devil |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: Fashion knows not of comfort. | Episode: Dare Devil |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: [pretending to be a drug addict while jailbreaking Eric] Okay, I have a problem, I have a big probleeem. Starts with the capital X Ostroff Nurse: What drugs have you been taking? Blair: Hmmm, caffein, nicotin, ketamin, JGP, PCP, LSD, juraidasepam? Floreaisepam? All the pams really, you know, I don't discriminate. Ostroff Nurse: Apparently not. [on the phone] Ostroff Nurse: Code yellow, floor six. Why don't you wait right here? I'll get a doctor. | Episode: |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: No more excuses. Serena must have the hottest date ever. If he's got plans he'll change them. If he's got a girlfriend he'll dump her and if he's out of town he'll charter a g-5 and fly home. Make it happen. | Episode: The Handmaiden's Tale |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: You know, I got moves. Chuck: Really? Then why don't you get up there. Blair: [laughs] I'm just saying, I got moves. | Episode: Victor, Victrola |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: Do you... 'like' me? Chuck: Define like. Blair: You have got to be kidding me. Chuck: How do you think I feel? I can't sleep! I feel sick, like there's something in my stomach... fluttering. [disgusted] Blair: Butterflies? Oh no, no, no, no no. [horrified] This is not happening! Chuck Bass: Believe me no one is more surprised or ashamed than I am. Blair Waldorf: Chuck, you know that I adore all of God's creatures and the metaphors that they inspire, but those butterflies have got to be murdered! Chuck Bass: Fine! It wasn't that great anyway. Blair Waldorf: Thanks! | Episode: Seventeen Candles |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Chuck: Not as much as I enjoyed the memory of you purring in my ear which I have been replaying over and over... Blair: Well erase the tape! | Episode: Seventeen Candles |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been... a while since my last confession. Priest: What troubles you, my child? Blair: [sighs] After being broken up with my boyfriend for exactly twenty minutes, I succumbed to inebriation, performed at a Speak-Easy, and surrendered my virtue to a self-absorbed ass. The only good news is that he's a total pig who'll act like it never happened, thank God. Priest: Ahem. Blair: Sorry. Truthfully, I'm not even Catholic. Priest: [sarcastically] You don't say? Blair: But losing my virginity to Chuck Bass? None of my friends will ever understand. I'm ready for my punishment. Whatever you and God think is fair. Flogging, fasting, putting that thing with the teeth around my thigh like Silas. Priest: How about some food for thought instead? Don't drink, keep your clothes on, try avoiding those who might cause you to stray. Blair: Oh, I plan to. Thank you, Father. That was very good advice. [gets up but comes back] Blair: You don't grant birthday wishes, do you? Priest: I'm a priest, not a genie. Blair: Well, the next time you talk to Him, would you ask Him to send my boyfriend back to me? | Episode: Seventeen Candles |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: You just won 365 more days in your Ikea-furnished closet. Vanessa: You went to my building? You talked to my landlord? Blair: No, I don't speak Ukrainian, but I do speak envelope of cash and he understood me perfectly. | Episode: School Lies |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: Isn't there someone else you can torture? Chuck: Probably but I choose you. | Episode: School Lies |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair Waldorf: Game over. Chuck Bass: It's not over until I say it's over. Blair Waldorf: Well, have fun playing with yourself then. | Episode: A Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: How do you manage to get out of everything unscathed? Serena: Because I'm nice. You should try it. Come on, compliment me. Tell me my hair looks beautiful! Blair: But your hair looks disgusting. Did you even shower today? | Episode: The Blair Bitch Project |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Serena: It's a snub from one party, B. Plus, what's the big deal, anyway? You don't even like Asher. Blair: I didn't like last season's Louis Vuitton patchwork bag, either, but that doesn't mean I wanna see it all over town on Jenny Humphrey's arm. Serena: Touche. | Episode: All About My Brother |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: My, my. If it isn't Little J, risen from the ashes. Jenny: I came to tell you in person. You win Blair: Oh sweetie, we just started to play. Jenny: No, you don't understand. I'm done. With you, with them. All of it. Blair: Just like that, you wave the white flag. Jenny: I lied. And I stole. And I lost the respect of my family. For what? So I can be like you? You asked me before if it was all worth it. And my answer is: It's not. Blair: I tried to warn you. There's a price to pay. I always knew a girl like you couldn't afford it. Jenny: Well, you were right. | Episode: |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: Whoever said that money doesn't buy happiness didn't know where to shop. Lucky for me I may have to go out tonight after all. | Episode: All About My Brother |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair:[after waking up in bed together] You were on the floor! Chuck: I hurt my back. Blair: How? It's not like you ever do anything athletic. Chuck: [suggestively] Well, that's not exactly true, now is it? Blair: Fine, nothing that involves removing your scarf. Chuck: That was one time; it was chilly. | Episode: Much I Do About Nothing |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair Waldorf: [to Georgina] Haven't you heard? I'm the crazy bitch around here. | Episode: Much I Do About Nothing |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: A hot lifeguard is like kleenex, use once and throw away! | Episode: Summer Kind of Wonderful |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: Damn that mother-chucker! | Episode: Summer Kind of Wonderful |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Chuck: Please don't leave with him. Blair: Why? Give me a reason, and "I'm Chuck Bass" doesn't count. Chuck: 'Cause you don't want to. Blair: Not good enough. Chuck: 'Cause I don't want you to. Blair: That's not enough. Chuck: What else is there? Blair: The true reason I should stay right where I am and not get into the car. Three words, eight letter. Say it, and I'm yours. Chuck: I... I... Blair: Thank you, that's all I needed to hear. | Episode: Summer Kind of Wonderful |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: The only thing lamer than dating Dan Humphrey is mourning Dan Humphrey. | Episode: Summer Kind of Wonderful |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Serena: Blair Waldorf, a fling? You're not exactly low maintenance. Blair: It's like Roman Holiday but I'm Gregory Peck and he's Audrey Hepburn! Serena: And you really expect me to believe this isn't all about revenge on Chuck? Blair: Revenge is so 12 hours ago! And just because Marcus is the perfect post-Bass palate cleanser doesn't mean he isn't a delicious dish in his own right. | Episode: Never Been Marcused |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: Can I just say how sorry I am that I judged you earlier? I thought you were just a callow, social-climbing former swimsuit model who married above her station only to be enslaved by her own insecurities. When I saw you rolling around on the floor with my adolescent ex, I realized you have a compassionate side. | Episode: Never Been Marcused |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: Not that’s it's any of your business but Marcus and I have an amazing sex life. Chuck: Is that so? [pause] Chuck: What names does he call you when you make love? [Blair doesn't say anything and Chuck turns her around and grasps her hand] Chuck: Where does he put his hand? Does he.. [starts whispering seductively in Blair's ear] Chuck: Have sex with me. Blair: What?! Chuck: Just once that's all I need. Blair: You are disgusting and I hate you! Chuck: Then why are you still holding my hand? [Blair turns back around] Blair: I have a party to host. [walks off] | Episode: The Dark Night |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Serena: I just hid there, how pathetic is that? No don't answer that. Blair: Break ups are easy, it's having to see them date someone else that's hard. Why do you think I rub it in Chuck's face every chance I get? Serena: A twisted version of foreplay? Blair: Ignoring you. | Episode: The Ex Files |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: Dorota, don't ever go to high school. | Episode: The Serena Also Rises |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair Waldorf: (to Serena) I'm sick of it too. I'm sick of always looking like Darth Vader next to sunshine Barbie. Life's to short, but you make it feel so long. | Episode: New Haven Can Wait |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Chuck: [Chuck rides up in his limo and rolls down the window] Wanna get in? I'd love to give you a ride. Blair: Well I'm sure you would. Too bad you've made the terms of that arrangement impossible. Chuck: About that, maybe I was a litte too hasty. Come on, get in. Blair: Maybe I don't want you anymore. Chuck: Don't torture me. I'm dying. [Blair starts to get in when Chuck pushes down the lock] Chuck: All you have to do is say those three magic words. Blair: I hate you. [Chuck rolls up the window and leaves] | Episode: Pret-A-Poor-J |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: I have an itch only Chuck can scratch. | Episode: Pret-A-Poor-J |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: I wanted a Harry Winston choker for my birthday. Instead I got a conscience. | Episode: Bonfire of the Vanity |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair Waldorf: He's totally unsuitable. Serena van der Woodsen: Who? Blair Waldorf: Cyrus. He's five feet tall. He has a catchphrase. And he's a hugger. I was expecting Cary Grant and I got Danny DeVito! | Episode: Bonfire of the Vanity |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: You're still here. Cyrus: I sent my driver to dinner because I thought I would be at the party ringing in your birthday. Blair: You threw in the towel rather easily. I expected a harder fight. Cyrus: I'm smart enough to know that getting into a war with Eleanor's daughter is never gonna result in a victory. Blair: So, you retreated with dignity. Cyrus: Who says I gave up? Blair: Oh my god. You out maneuvered me. You deliberately let me win, counting on the fact that Cyndi Lauper would prey on my emotions. Cyrus: I'm a lawyer. I do think a few moves ahead. Some of us can't rely entirely on our looks, you know. Blair: Well done. Cyrus: Not enough! Blair: Fine. You're a genius. You better be good to my mother, or I'll be coming for you. Cyrus: Those are fair terms. Blair: Now, come upstairs and stand next to me while I tell my mom the whole truth about The Golden Lion. She'll be furious with me. So, I may need an attorney. Cyrus: Oh! [Cyrus hugs Blair. Blair grimaces, smiles, then shakes her head] Blair: You're not what I had in mind. Cyrus: Well, you're not what I had in mind. | Episode: Bonfire of the Vanity |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair Waldorf: Only a masochist could ever love such a narcissist. | Episode: O Brother Where Bart Thou |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Episode: | |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: I can't believe I sold out Nate to be the next Jackie O. Serena: Yeah I always saw you as more a of a Hillary. Blair: Except I would win. | Episode: Seder Anything |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair (on the subway): Rats go underground. Not Waldorfs! | Episode: Southern Gentlemen Prefer Blondes |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair (on the Village):NYU?Village): NYU? What was I thinking ? You know how I feel about ironic facial hair! | Episode: Southern Gentlemen Prefer Blondes |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: I own Prom! | Episode: Valley Girls |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: We don’t do prom queen. That’s for suburban schools and the lame teen comedies that are set at them. | Episode: Valley Girls |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair (to Serena, in jail): The fact that you are on an actual pay phone has me beyond nauseous. | Episode: Valley Girls |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair (asking S about when Chuck told her he loved Blair): Did he say , "I love her?" "I love her?" "I love her?" | Episode: The Goodbye Gossip Girl |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: Take off that hideous scarf, Penelope, you can see it from space | Episode: The Goodbye Gossip Girl |
| Gossip Girl Quote: | Blair: You can’t make people love you but you can make them fear you. | Episode: The Goodbye Gossip Girl |
| See Also: | Gossip Girl Characters | Blair Waldorf | Blair Waldorf Pictures | Leighton Meester | Gossip Girl Quotes |
